Just another day

 So i was messing around on here trying to spoof up my page a little an looking at the different things people have done to theirs when i ran across "edit post" and since i have no clue as to what i am doing i clicked on it. It showed old drafts that where never published. One read the last 8 years or something like that. It was hard reading it....apparently it was written right before Chris moved or right after he moved. Either way it was before i knew of the affair. I'm not sure if id want to post it now but it was so rich with emotion i almost hate not to. its very detailed an kinda puts you where i was the last 8 years. I'm sure before its all said and done ill end up posting. Its crazy how things can change so quickly and to look back a year ago to see the changes almost makes me want to throw up. Yeah not a great feeling i know lol. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that change is bad but it def was unexpected. I still wake up from time to time thinking really??? Oh today is an emotional one for some reason. Started last night when i couldn't sleep. To many thoughts an to many emotions all about to boil over. I'm feeling a much needed vaca soon. I need some time to myself. Time to really put things in prospective. In just a few short months there will be even more changes. Am i ready? I think so. Scared? A little but who isn't before they get married an remarried at that. Suppose to be getting things done but i don't even know where to start. Seems overwhelming an wish i had someone to step up an take control for a bit. I'm not very good at getting organized an getting things done in time lol

   oh anyways on to the next thing. I am on my 14th day of being smoke free!!! Thank you thank you =) I never thought i would have gotten this far without hurting someone but so far no blood has been shed ha ha I have to give my oldest credit for this. Apparently the school teaches kids these days that cigarettes are drugs an they kill people. Yes i know that's all true but they make it sound like it has a knife an is wondering the streets at night killing people. So every time i went outside to light up C would say " mom when are you going to quit cause your going to die if you don't" an hearing this come from my 7 year olds mouth just made me wanna cry. I don't want you to die of cancer mommy. Hearing this is a kinda hard to swallow an seeing the pain in your child's eyes changes alot. SOOOO me an C had an agreement i would stop. A pinky promise to be exact. For those of you who don't know what a pinky promise or pinky swear is...its where you stick your pinky out an wrap it around another pinky in my case it was my sons, an you make an agreement then after saying it you say i pinky promise or pinky swear whichever an there ya go! But never take a pinky promise lightly. Its still your word even though it sounds silly so stick by your word. As for me it was the most difficult thing I've had to do in a long time. But i think if it wouldn't have been for that pinky promise id still be smoking today. So thank you son for helping me kick the habit.